Envy and jealousy often become confused as one or the other. They do have basically the same meaning, but to me, envy is more of when you really desire what someone has or done. I myself am very guilty of jealousy and envy, I will envy something someone has or done because I know I can’t do what that person did. Envy kind of sucks!
Then again it’s always best to sit down, relax, and remember the good things in your life. Sure, you’ll envy people now and then, but at the end of the day, you have to find happiness in your own life. So I’ve put together some of my reasons and ways to not envy someone else.
Being able to accept who you are as a person, is very important in life. We cannot help what family we were born to, and the kind of lifestyle we grew up with. Many times I become envious of wealthy families, because to me it looks as if money grows on trees for them. Growing up in a middle class family is something you have no power over, and it’s time to accept that.
You have to appreciate your parents for all the hard work they (hopefully) do to make sure you had a great time growing up. Sure, you’re not like the fancy rich kids who go shopping every weekend, but at least you have a family, a meal, and a roof over your head. As long as you have a family or people whom you love, you should not worry about what someone else has. It just isn’t worth your time of thought.
Don’t Pay Attention to Others
Another great way to not become super envious of someone, is to just ignore them altogether. Yes, you can talk to the person and all, but don’t focus on what you envy them about. Unless they brag, than that’s not particularly the best person to hang around. Rather, just try to focus on who they are as a person. They might be genuinely nice despite being wealthy or so on. If you notice little things about their appearance that you happen to envy, don’t pay attention to it!
You can pay attention to a person, without fully paying attention to them. Above all else, don’t be rude. Don’t be mega obvious shouting from the rooftops “I ENVY YOU!” it’s just bad news. Be nice, polite, and if that person talks to you, engage back. It might be someone you see on a daily, so that way you should definitely try being nice enough to maybe even be friends with them. It never hurts to be nice.
Learn From Them
My vocal coach once taught me something that I always think about. She said “don’t be jealous of someone, instead, learn from them.” Why do you envy that person? Is it their personality? Their talent? Whatever it is, you can learn from it. If you envy someone for their outgoing personality, try looking at what makes them so outgoing, and apply it. When singing, I am very grateful that my vocal coach taught me this. I would often wish I had someone else’s voice, and their amazing technique. When I began listening to what made them so good, I applied it to myself, and ultimately became a better singer in a very short amount of time.
There is an awful lot you can learn from someone when you put aside your envy and jealousy. If you truly like what that person does, figure out why you like it. See if it works for you, of course if a certain personality just isn’t you, don’t force yourself to change. Now just remember whenever you feel down and start thinking “oh why can’t I be like so and so” ask yourself why you want to be like them, and apply it.
What about a person has made you incredibly envious before? Is it something you can apply to yourself?